Brady Brady Brady, I was really excited to come back to your project after all those fire stories you were telling on your blog. Seems like your a naturally gifted stroyteller. Have you ever thought about this as a career for your future? It seems like you really enjoy it and let me tell you, YOU ARE GOOD! This project has me on the edge of my seat and I think our classmates would agree with that. There is a lot of buzz going around about it, and we just can't wait for the rest of the project to get released. The setting, the characters, the dialogue, its all great! What a start to an amazing project and It will be really cool to see how you take it from here. See you later and keep up the great work stud. Yours truly, Brooks
Hey Brady! Your layout is set up with easy navigation. The home page also gives all the information needed, and I love the peaceful tone set with the image. My only suggestion would be to have a picture up on the banner to really set the storybook tone for your first story? I really like your choice of image following the first story, but it'd be really cool to somehow get that image either at the beginning of the story or in the banner. Content wise, wow... I definitely agree with Brooks! You are a very talented writer, and I'm really not sure any advice I could give to strengthen your introduction. I really like how you plan to keep some of the Ramayana stories the same but switch up certain aspects of it. It means there will be many surprising turns to what I expect based on the original. You've started out great and your storytelling on how you met Ravana is so unique. I can't wait to read the continuation of the story. Great job!
Hey, Brady! I really like the introduction to your storybook. It includes a part of the mythos of the king of demons that I had not heard before and I thought it was really interesting. I hadn't realized that the city was home to anything but demons actually. As far as improvements go, the only thing I might suggest would be to allow the story to flow better without the interruptions to remind the reader that he is talking to Rama, I at least hadn't forgotten throughout the story and was just mildly annoyed whenever the main story was interrupted. Besides for that though I quite enjoyed the storybook like tone of the writing.
The setup of your Story book is great! I was able to navigate it easily! On your home page you did a good job preparing your audience for what they are about to dive into.
Just as you told us on your homepage, you told your story from your own perspective. I like how you made yourself meet the characters on the Ramayana. I think it would be pretty cool at some point have yourself write one of your stories in a format of a note like and e-mail or something. I can tell you are a really great writer. I will stay tuned to your story book! Great job !
Hi Brady! You did an amazing job on this introduction! It's well written and the flow is really nice. You've given just enough background and detail to draw the reader in, while still leaving them interested to read more. Your topic is interesting and unique. It allows a way to look at the character of Ravana from a completely different perspective. One thing that stood out to me is that your wording could be a little confusing to the reader when you're talking about Dashagriva. I'm wondering if you could make it a little more clear that Dashagriva and Ravana are the same person. That might have just been me, though, because other than that one thing, you're story was brilliantly told. You're an excellent storyteller! Your site is clean and well organized. It was easy to navigate, and I really enjoyed the picture that you chose. I'm looking forward to reading more in your storybook. Good job!
Brady, I am super curious to see what stories you will add to your storybook about Ravana from the adviser's perspective and somewhat from Ravana's perspective. I like that you chose Ravana of all the characters, because he is the bad guy, not many people want to write or read about him. It's interesting to see how he became so bad and/or what good he does, because he is still another being. I wonder where your first story will start, because in the beginning of the introduction you share where you're at in Lanka and it makes me wonder how you got to that spot, unless you're going to explain later on. I noticed on your 'home' page that you mention the story would revolve around Ravana's adviser. I figure you could place your name after the word 'adviser' rather than after Ravana, because it kind of sounds confusing. I know that's such a small nitpick, but I felt like it would make more sense. Other than that, I like that you incorporated yourself in these stories so I'm excited to read what else you have in store! Good luck!
Hi Brady, You took attacked this project from a very interesting angle by inserting yourself directly into it. You are the first on that I have read that has done so. It was also very interesting that you were telling stories of when you were serving under Ravana to Rama. It adds a very interesting dynamic as you are technically "bad" but you are under the reign of "good". It definitely could be a really interesting story to read in the future. I like that you also seem very committed to keeping the serious tone of the story. You did a great job of immersing with detail as it was very tense to read the story. Perhaps in the future you can continue to use this ominous tone. Best of luck in the writings, I will be looking out for your stories to read in the future!
Hey Brady! I think your introduction is a great intro to your storybook as a whole! We get a great sense of what you will be writing about, and it leaves the reader wanting to hear more, which is a great start! I can't wait to read the next installment this week! I thought it was really funny to keep your name in the story, especially since it doesn't fit. Will this ever be explained? Or is it just a humorous mystery? You could go about it either way! I've always been a fan of morally ambiguous characters, and it seems like Brady is just that. He just wants to keep up his trade, even if it means serving big baddies like Ravana or possibly angering the new king. It makes him a multi-dimensional character that is actually fun to read about, since you never know what could happen with them next. I hope you take advantage of his ambiguity and make some interesting scenarios or dubious backstories for him.
Brady Brady Brady,
ReplyDeleteI was really excited to come back to your project after all those fire stories you were telling on your blog. Seems like your a naturally gifted stroyteller. Have you ever thought about this as a career for your future? It seems like you really enjoy it and let me tell you, YOU ARE GOOD! This project has me on the edge of my seat and I think our classmates would agree with that. There is a lot of buzz going around about it, and we just can't wait for the rest of the project to get released. The setting, the characters, the dialogue, its all great! What a start to an amazing project and It will be really cool to see how you take it from here. See you later and keep up the great work stud.
Yours truly,
Brooks
Hey Brady!
ReplyDeleteYour layout is set up with easy navigation. The home page also gives all the information needed, and I love the peaceful tone set with the image. My only suggestion would be to have a picture up on the banner to really set the storybook tone for your first story? I really like your choice of image following the first story, but it'd be really cool to somehow get that image either at the beginning of the story or in the banner.
Content wise, wow... I definitely agree with Brooks! You are a very talented writer, and I'm really not sure any advice I could give to strengthen your introduction. I really like how you plan to keep some of the Ramayana stories the same but switch up certain aspects of it. It means there will be many surprising turns to what I expect based on the original. You've started out great and your storytelling on how you met Ravana is so unique.
I can't wait to read the continuation of the story. Great job!
Hey, Brady!
ReplyDeleteI really like the introduction to your storybook. It includes a part of the mythos of the king of demons that I had not heard before and I thought it was really interesting. I hadn't realized that the city was home to anything but demons actually.
As far as improvements go, the only thing I might suggest would be to allow the story to flow better without the interruptions to remind the reader that he is talking to Rama, I at least hadn't forgotten throughout the story and was just mildly annoyed whenever the main story was interrupted. Besides for that though I quite enjoyed the storybook like tone of the writing.
Hello Brady!
ReplyDeleteThe setup of your Story book is great! I was able to navigate it easily! On your home page you did a good job preparing your audience for what they are about to dive into.
Just as you told us on your homepage, you told your story from your own perspective. I like how you made yourself meet the characters on the Ramayana. I think it would be pretty cool at some point have yourself write one of your stories in a format of a note like and e-mail or something. I can tell you are a really great writer. I will stay tuned to your story book! Great job !
Hi Brady!
ReplyDeleteYou did an amazing job on this introduction! It's well written and the flow is really nice. You've given just enough background and detail to draw the reader in, while still leaving them interested to read more. Your topic is interesting and unique. It allows a way to look at the character of Ravana from a completely different perspective. One thing that stood out to me is that your wording could be a little confusing to the reader when you're talking about Dashagriva. I'm wondering if you could make it a little more clear that Dashagriva and Ravana are the same person. That might have just been me, though, because other than that one thing, you're story was brilliantly told. You're an excellent storyteller! Your site is clean and well organized. It was easy to navigate, and I really enjoyed the picture that you chose. I'm looking forward to reading more in your storybook. Good job!
Brady, I am super curious to see what stories you will add to your storybook about Ravana from the adviser's perspective and somewhat from Ravana's perspective. I like that you chose Ravana of all the characters, because he is the bad guy, not many people want to write or read about him. It's interesting to see how he became so bad and/or what good he does, because he is still another being. I wonder where your first story will start, because in the beginning of the introduction you share where you're at in Lanka and it makes me wonder how you got to that spot, unless you're going to explain later on. I noticed on your 'home' page that you mention the story would revolve around Ravana's adviser. I figure you could place your name after the word 'adviser' rather than after Ravana, because it kind of sounds confusing. I know that's such a small nitpick, but I felt like it would make more sense. Other than that, I like that you incorporated yourself in these stories so I'm excited to read what else you have in store! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHi Brady,
ReplyDeleteYou took attacked this project from a very interesting angle by inserting yourself directly into it. You are the first on that I have read that has done so. It was also very interesting that you were telling stories of when you were serving under Ravana to Rama. It adds a very interesting dynamic as you are technically "bad" but you are under the reign of "good". It definitely could be a really interesting story to read in the future. I like that you also seem very committed to keeping the serious tone of the story. You did a great job of immersing with detail as it was very tense to read the story. Perhaps in the future you can continue to use this ominous tone. Best of luck in the writings, I will be looking out for your stories to read in the future!
Hey Brady!
ReplyDeleteI think your introduction is a great intro to your storybook as a whole! We get a great sense of what you will be writing about, and it leaves the reader wanting to hear more, which is a great start! I can't wait to read the next installment this week!
I thought it was really funny to keep your name in the story, especially since it doesn't fit. Will this ever be explained? Or is it just a humorous mystery? You could go about it either way!
I've always been a fan of morally ambiguous characters, and it seems like Brady is just that. He just wants to keep up his trade, even if it means serving big baddies like Ravana or possibly angering the new king. It makes him a multi-dimensional character that is actually fun to read about, since you never know what could happen with them next. I hope you take advantage of his ambiguity and make some interesting scenarios or dubious backstories for him.